Truer Than True Adventures: North and South

That’s lovely, understated use of Copperplate, BBC DVD cover dudes. Way to restrain yourselves. It’s so overused.

Saturday at the Lurv household was pretty lame and boring. The poor kidlet and I were all awoooone. You know. Alone. Hubbster being the good Samaritan he is, was helping his brother move into a new place. Am I a stone-cold beeyotch for not leaping at the chance to go clean the place for them when hubby called that afternoon and asked if I would? Yeah, didn’t think so. I know, I said I’d been bored, but really now, how much more lame could it get than hauling me and kidlet thirty minutes via car on a stormy, nasty day to go CLEAN MY BRO-IN-LAW’S HOUSE. After I’d been cleaning ours. What are they, afraid of the house cooties? I touch them every single day. Pansies.

I’m not the fun one in our house. Please, don’t choke on your coffee. It’s true. Hubbster is much more fun than I and I feel bad for kidlet when it’s just her and I. I have to do lame things like clean MY house and the messes that we all make, blah dee blah blah. I do things with her of course, but daddy-kins really lights up both our lives. So by the end of the day, we were both tired and tired of each other. Poor kidlet! Yes, poor thing, despite her making me want to tear my hair out. Loves her, I DO.

After putting kidlet to bed, I found myself flipping through even more boring crap on TV. WHY DO I PAY FOR THIS CRAP? I pay to flip through monotonous, useless TV! I’ve been made a bitch by our satellite company! I blame the need to watch True Blood on Sunday nights because I’m a good girl who does not torrent. Anyway, the final straw was this weird movie. The culprit was a STARZ channel featuring something called The Country Bears. Here, go look at the trailer and SUFFER AS I DID for the few seconds I saw it. Something about “real” bears that talk and play music. With people. In a band. Yes, these people talk back to them. WTF, world, why do you hate us so?

(Before we go any further, yes, I did know that this is based on a beloved book, I haven’t been quite that head-in-the-sand. I might read it one day. After I’ve watched this five hundred or so more times. It’s The Armitage, you understand. Roowwrrr.)

What does this all have to do with the BBC miniseries, North and South? Well, my fine, fine Lurvlets, it’s to illustrate in glorious technicolor that after having a lame boring day to rival all previous editions of the Lame and Boring Day, you too can has a reward! I literally said fuck this shit after seeing that mushroom-enhanced bear crap on STARZ and said, This chick is going to watch North and South! Finally! I will do so with coffee and something tasty! Yes, I’m saying I’ve had this in my house, the security tape unopened, for over a month. Yes, I’ve received my punishment – remember The Country Bears and cue those shudders. By this time it was almost 11:00 at night, hence the coffee. I thought I’d maybe watch about half and wretchedly pine for the rest after several weeks had gone by (not having time to watch the rest for a good while, likely).

But…something happened. Before I knew it, the first two episodes were over. I couldn’t get the second disc in the DVD player fast enough. The heart rate was accelerating to the speed of plaid. Crack. BBC crack! The BBC is literally shipping crack to the States in the form of awesome acting, a compelling romance and beautiful cinematography. BBC – you is mai dealer of choice! We will totes keep the borders open for you.

Folks. A lot of you have talked about this miniseries/movie before. I remember it being all the fluttery, breathy-sighing rage when I first came on the Blogosphere scene back in 2008. I mean, people, it’s all you talked about. North and South this, Richard Armitage that, breathy, swoony madness! I distinctly remember not giving a crap. I mean, you are all lovely people, but I could’ve cared less about The Armitage or some silly ass BBC production. I never even took the time to see what the premise was back then! I had books to read. A kidlet to put on the toiler over and over again to no potty-training avail. I think I was thinking a lot about exercising. Thinking about exercising should totally count. I was probably getting addicted to Starbucks around then. I didn’t have time for your silly obsession with North and South! Paaahh!

Recently, I looked up the premise for North and South. Oooh, So yall were NOT talking about the Civil War miniseries with Patrick Swayze (God rest his poor soul)? Well why didn’t yall say the hell so? The BBC series by the same name takes place in England? With a theme of clashing social classes? And lovely Victorian costuming? And whoa – a love story? *pre-swoon*

I assure you, I paaahh! no more. I now know what the heck you all were swooning over. I see now that Richard Armitage smolders. I see that he is sexiness personified with a triple side dish helping of I Want You Now. Even when he’s beating the shit out of a weaker man in the movie, something alights inside of me like a cat sighting a tasty bird. Your own inner feline-ness says ignore his gruffness, latch onto that fire in his eyes, albeit a somewhat smarmy one at times, and chant with all the powers of the combined force of romance enthusiasts everywhere – mill owner John Thornton will be redeemed! You gladly sign on the devil’s dotted line that you will stay up as late as it takes to absorb all that is North and South into your very psyche. Your very soul.

And you, quite frankly, fall in love. Just sit back and take that in for a second. Do you feel like you’ve just gotten done having a glorious massage at a luxe day spa? Sho nuff, sista, and it only cost you $17.99 at Amazon with free 2-day Prime shipping. Boneless. This movie turned you into a boneless KMont cutlet of swoony goo.

It is now close to or after 3:00 in the morning. I am done with the most romantic movie of MY LIFE. My jaw is located somewhere on the carpet. The dog is probably chewing on it, cuz, well, she’s a chewer. I only had two times when I was taken out of the movie and that was 1. when Margaret, our wonderful heroine, decided to dress herself in fancy lettuce for a dinner party at the Thornton house (It was awful and pale green and…lettucy. I know they weren’t rich, but geeze, Dad. Get another teaching job, your daughter’s a PETA Lettuce Lady!), and 2. when she attends the Great Exhibition in London. I remember thinking she needed to watch out for Mark and Passion behind that screen, maybe run in the opposite direction lest she and Thornton tear each other’s clothes off as well. Wait, why didn’t that happen? Oh GOD, World! You prove yourself a cruel, cold wretch of an ass yet again!

Dudes, I think we can all breath easier now knowing this is what Bonnie Tyler was singing about in Total Eclipse of the Heart. Wait, what? You’re all up in arms about the song being written and sung before the movie? Pffffffffftttttttt. Helllooo, obviously Bonnie Taylor was a time traveler. AND psychic. Chaaaaaww. Warning, that music video might scar you for life. Just put North and South back in, ‘kay? I won’t be responsible for your psychiatrist bill. For fugs sakes, people, I was talking about the lyrics.

Anyway, I’m a convert. If there was ever some kind of North and South event, with loads of Armitage’s running around (oh be still, you silly damn heart), ladies in Victorian get up, cups of tea being served, I’d be there. If it was close by. And I could afford to go. I’d go as Bessy Higgins. She was so wonderful! And I could probably pull off her poor, drab wardrobe. Otherwise it would be as Margaret in her lettuce dress. With my bosoms all a-heaving.

If you haven’t watched this yet, you’re in luck in that you too get a grace period of two years in which to wake the hell up. After that, look me up so we can swoon over this thing together and giggle about Armitage like two sexually budding school girls.

If that doesn’t convince you, watch this pretty good fan trailer.

Dude, do you even have any swoon left in you?

North and South, I am unequivocally yours. Take me however you want. Yes, I realize I just possibly went TMI with this whole thing. But who hasn’t.

This has been the story of the truer than true adventures of how I became a North and South fan. Run, don’t walk, to get your viewing on. Grab your tissues, grab your comfy loungy lounge pants and don them and your slanket or other such equivalent adult blankie and prepare to utterly die of romantic bliss. Altogether now: *siiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhh*

ETA: Since posting this I’ve watched it almost all the way through another time – and the hubby watched it with me! In fact, he planned to stay up and watch all of it while I trudged to bed. And he likes it, he really really likes it! If I didn’t know it already, I’d say he was a keeper.

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23 comments

  1. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

    “Look back at me” *swoon*

    I watched this when it was on for the first time on TV. AWESOMESAUCE.

  2. Oh YES!!!!!!!! Agree with everything you’ve said KMONT, and more! I first saw North and South on American Public TV when it first aired several years ago, and have been an RA convert ever since (in secret of course). Can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched and swooned over Thornton. My advise, don’t stop with N&S! There’s more Armitage to enjoy and more of those great BBC Vids out there :)

  3. I only watched it myself last year, it was avaialble on Netflix instant play – it probably still is. Loved it! Went out and bought the DVD for keeps.

    That kiss is just the B-E-S-T ever!

  4. Like Ana, I watched this on TV in 2004 and LOVED it then… Still love it today. *sigh*

    Oh, that final scene… *melts* *fans self*

    :)

    Great post – you were cracking me up!!

  5. Hysterically awesome post, K. I am tickled you finally got a chance to watch it. And all in one delicious chunk, too!

    I looked about like you at the end. Completely bowled over. Immediately scanned back and re-watched the train scene again.

    And maybe once more.

    *sigh*

  6. Now you know to listen to us. The internets have spoken. Mm, maybe I shall pop my DVDs in my player to watch my copies for the millionth time…

  7. Wow, that’s a long post :D. Soooo glad you loved N&S. It is wonderful. Sigh. Glad you’re spreading the love.

    We’ll have to make sure Kristie(j) finds out so she can add you to her N&S Crusaders list :)

  8. Loved. this. movie.

    Ummmm… dare I say that I saw The Country Bears in the theater when it was first released? And yes, it was as awful as you think. But when you have an 8 and 5 year old? They were in heaven! (while I was in mommy hell)

  9. Damn you! *waves fist* I was saving ;)

    Turn out it’s discounted to 4 pounds at amazon uk! For that price with free shipping I’ll give up some tapas when I head to spain. Plus I get the option of day tripping outside London for a bit of wandering through old villages and daydreaming of being there.

  10. I see now that Richard Armitage smolders. I see that he is sexiness personified with a triple side dish helping of I Want You Now.

    Amen *grin*

    I’m with Mollie. After reading that if you don’t qualify as one of KristieJ’s Crusaders then no one will.

    And now I want to watch North & South again. I need my own copy…

  11. I am so glad that I am not the only one who thought of the Civil War miniseries when everyone gushed about North and South.

    I really ought to see it, eh?

  12. I wanted to take Richard’s cravat and do naughty things to him with it.

    The yellow rose… the train scene… Richard’s naked neck and short all unbuttoned. *swoon*

  13. Loved this! I’m now a follower of your blog because of this hilarious post. I’m also a fan of North and South and I watched it because of the raves from fellow book bloggers. None of my friends know about this BBC series! I’m glad I gave in and watched it because it is all sorts of wonderful. I kept watching the train scene again and again. Richard Armitage ♥

  14. First off – you must have changed something. I hadn’t been able to get on your blog for a while now and I thought we’d lost you until Orannia pointed out your blog. I’m ever so glad I found you again and will have to fix the link.
    Now for the real comment *g*

    AHA!!!!! Now you understand why we went so crazy over this series, why we had a Great North and South Crusade, why there is a list of all the Crusaders on my sidebar.

    Yippy Skippity Do Dah – you “get” it. And I’m ever so happy, I’m dancing. Well, in my heart I’m dancing. Heh, heh, heh, And I believe we did say that it Was Not to be confused with the American Civil War series. And you see why I’m still not content – that there are still those who have watched this Most Incredible 4 hour series. And why we still need Crusaders such as yourself to help spread the word about the total sex on a stick marvelousness that is Richard Armitage. And isn’t it just the most romantic movie?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    I’m still doin’ the happy dance in my heart that you are The Newest Crusader!!

  15. Like you, for the longest time, I thought North and South was the U.S. mini-series. Then I finally read some of the comments. Oh, Richard Armitage. They really need to do sequel ;)

  16. Hahahaha! I had almost the same exact experience, but involving Netflix on demand, not the discs.

    “Oh, it’s 11 and I need to go to bed soon, but I think I’ll just try the first episode. Ok, maybe two. Three. I’ll watch three and that’s it. Gimmie the last one now! NOW I SAY!”

  17. Ana, I sighs again now just thinking about it!

    Musa, I will definitely be looking up some more BBC productions! And Armitage. Rowrr. ;)

    Scorpio M. – oh my word, yes, THAT KISS! Ahhhh!

    Karen, lol, I admit I was cracking myself up while writing this. There, I admitted it with my narcissist self. ;)

    Angie, I’m so feening for a rewatch but haven’t gotten a chance yet. :( Maybe I can get hubby to go visit friends lol. Scoot, man, I have Armitage swooning to commence.

    Janicu, I solemnly swear I will be a better listener now. :D

    Mollie, I gab and gab at times lol. Can’t seem to help it. Heehee.

    Lori, that’s why I love Pixar – they clearly care about the parental entertainment too.

    Prue! Doooo it! You will love it. Let Hils and I know what you think of it. :D

    Orannia, it’s like I now have a group lapel pin lol.

    Dishonor, I’m not too big on U.S. Civil War stuff, so yeah! Totally was turned off the title for a while. And if you love a great love story, YES, definitely watch the BBC North and South!

    Katiebabs – making a mental note *Richard’s cravat belongs to Katiebabs* :D

    Chachic – thank you and welcome to this crazy place! I am SO glad I purchased this. Best money spent on a DVD in a while. ;)

    KristieJ, yep, I bought my domain name and am self-hosting now. So that’s the big change. And since I live in the Southern U.S.? I get tired of hearing things like North, and South. Plus I saw a little of the one about the Civil War and wasn’t a fan. I now know better! :)

    Vi – YES! I’d go for a sequel, lol. But can anything ever top that kiss? *faints*

    Lorelie, oh man, the feeling of desperation changing out the discs lol. I wasn’t tired at al while watching this and couldn’t sleep much when I finally went to bed! Ahhhh! So. MUCH. Romance!

  18. KM, I cannot believe you are not the fun one at your house. I saw N&S a while ago and bought DVDs for my friends. Ah, Richard Armitage! I have been posting videos with him on my Vampire Wire blog for a long time. You may want to watch the ones from the BBC’s Robin Hood, because he wears black leather and guyliner and he’s all angsty and troubled and passionate. He’s also exceedingly smirkulous. He raises a smirk to a whole nother level.

    Don’t say I never did anything for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpVR7bpK-hM

  19. Now we have to get you to watch the first 2 season of BBC’s Robin Hood. The way Guy aka RIchard looks at Marian is smoldering, romantic and you end up asking, Robin who?

  20. Wow! I am not sure what else to say. I got this delivered a while ago, but hadn’t had the chance to watch it.

    I devoured this today in one go and boy what an amazing experience! The romance and the story. Seeing a view of the industrial revolution, it was interesting and moving all at the same time.

    Thank you for introducing me to this show. I am very sure it’s going to be something I watch again and again. I am so glad I am in London at the moment. It makes it all feel so much more immediate Is it just me or did this make anyone think of Lisa Kleypas??

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