So I’m having a lovely email chat with a couple of blogging buds and one brings up the title of a book and says it’s about a young girl that is kidnapped and raped for five years.
To which I replied I’d rather have a hot poker shoved up a deep dark place than ever read such a book. But I know that the book she mentioned wasn’t the only book like it I’d seen. There’s an entire sub genre of books about the very realistic fact that young girls and boys are kidnapped, tortured in some way by their kidnapper and eventually they likely die. I’m a mom. I know these things happen. I can’t read the news sites anymore for the nausea they induce with pretty much daily stories of horrific things happening to children. I started drilling into my own daughter at an early age about stranger danger. Hell – people-you-know-danger, even. This isn’t our parents’ United States or World. My husband remembers riding his bike with friends all over his town growing up. Just the thought of simply waving at my daughter as she rides off with a friend or two in her preteen or even teenage years leaves me feeling sick.
I truly celebrate reading to the point that if I don’t like a book or the idea of a book, I can still be genuinely glad and understanding if someone else does enjoy the same book, and glad for them. The phrase “We’re all different” rears once more. But I see books like I mentioned above praised time and again for their “powerful” messages, their utterly compelling and masterful tales that “all parents should read…”
Why? Why should I read a book that details the years a child is raped? Will it make me a better parent? Enable me to somehow magically prevent such a scenario from ever happening to my child? I can tell you right now, should anyone ever attempt to hurt my child, I will rip into them with every fiber of my being. But we all know from the sad facts that make up life – even the best, most on guard and proactive parent might not be able to prevent the most horrific thing they can imagine from happening. Tragedies like these, again, are a daily occurrence.
I have to admit…I just cannot understand why anyone would want to read a book like that. On one hand I am utterly flabbergasted and sickened that they exist….but that other half of me that usually attributes it to “We’re all different” wants me to be fair. I don’t know how to even resolve an internal conflict like this.
What about you – is there a particular book you can never see yourself enjoying, to the point you also cannot understand how anyone else could? The ones doing the liking could explain all they wanted to…but it would never connect with you. For me this makes me a little ashamed as a reader, yet I just can’t seem to help how I feel.
Also, I’m possibly thinking of turning this into a recurring post theme and might talk specifically, albeit constructively, about other books I say no to. Do you think there’s an interest for that sort of thing?
February 21, 2012
May 1, 2012
May 1, 2012
February 28, 2012
April 3, 2012
April 3, 2012
May 8, 2012
February 28,2012
May 1,2012
July 3,2012
Very moving post, Kenda. Yes, this would definitely be on my list of books never to read. Any type of violence against children or animals is an automatic “NO” for me. I can’t stomach it and don’t ever want to. It sickens me enough to know that things like this go on in the world, and reading about it would only make me feel worse.
I also have trouble reading anything with humiliation towards someone, regardless of the context. Sexually, verbally, etc. Demeaning someone and making them feel like they have no value is utterly reprehensible to me, and I don’t want to read about it. I will admit there have been some books with a paranormal element where I’ve found it a little easier to tolerate, but overall, I never want to become completely desensitized to it. I still cry when I read Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dance With the Devil, after all the abuse Zarek suffered.
*It sickens me enough to know that things like this go on in the world, and reading about it would only make me feel worse. *
Exactly! I think there are some lessons to be learned from people that experience tragedy of this nature, but they’re also pretty blatant ones and I don’t feel I need to rea/hear the story itself to know what that lesson is.
As to your trouble reading humiliation of a character, I know what you mean. Happens to me too when I feel I’ve grown really attached to a character while reading.
I TOTALLY agree with you!!!! Just say no to violence! I used to love reading mysteries until I had kids. I could no longer read about violence against children….it turns my stomach. I also try to avoid books with rape and torture. It pains me that so many “romances” have turned to the dark side. I am not ashamed to admit that I’m a big wuss and can’t handle books with disturbing stuff. That’s one of the reasons I am really enjoying the recent trend of humorous paranormals.
Great post!
Penelope, I agree – just say no, especially if it feels gratuitous. Now, I can take a little violence if the one dispensing it gets their’ back, but it it’s gratuitous, it’s just shock value to me and that has no meaning if it’s not attached to a deeper part of the book.
I have religious baggage that sometimes keeps me from reading stuff like Gail Carriger’s “Soulless.”
Why? Because the heroine is born without a soul and exists rather pleasantly without one, and the book is marketed as urban fantasy romance. Sorry, but people born without souls are NOT characters I want to read about, even in paranormal, because I just wouldn’t be able to suspend my disbelief. I’ve been raised to believe you cannot love or be a whole human being without a soul, so I have no interesting in reading “Soulless” or any of the sequels.
I have the same kind of problem with angel and demon characters, particularly demon heroes. I can read them if the worldbuilding is completely non-religious like it is in Angels’ Blood. But I don’t know about Meljean Brook’s books. I’ve been circling them warily.
I remember you mentioning this before now that I think of it. I went to Catholic school as a kid, so I can understand your approach on the issue of a soul.
That’s a real shame, because Soulless is an absolutely great read. I wouldn’t let hang-ups let it be missed.
Kia, not speaking for AnimeJune here at all, but I think her reasons seem pretty personal, so I don’t see them as a hangup. Everyone has personal reasons for being for or against something.
I had been waffling back and forth about reading it, but more on the side of is or isn’t it steampunk. Author and others say it is, some who feel pretty strongly about steampunk say it isn’t. I really wanted it to be steampunk, but I do plan to read it eventually to see what all the opinions are talking about.
I think I know what book you’re talking about, and (if I’m right) I kept hearing how good it was, so I tried reading it. It was the first time I ever actually wanted to throw a book away. I couldn’t make it very far before I took it back to the library. I just don’t see the attraction for reading that kind of stuff. It doesn’t feel like a “powerful” story or anything like that. I just felt like a disgusting voyeur.
the book I was loosely mentioning was actually a nonfiction book – I believe. Or it might have been a fictionalized account of a real event, not sure actually. Whatever the case, I was just instantly repelled.
I think some would say these kinds of books carry a message and that it’s important for victims to be heard – and it IS – but it just still doesn’t make it less painful to read. Like someone nailing me to the wall.
KMont, I understand your reluctance to read about this type of violence against children or women in a “romance” or “romance” related books. I personally think there is room to write about these subjects, however, I’m not sure that the “romance” genre is where they should be addressed. These are subjects that have a deep impact on the characters and on the reader, and they should be addressed in a serious manner.
When we’re reading a “romance” we have certain expectations: a happily ever after, love, sexual encounters, sexual tension, sexual banter. Our heroes and heroines may have gone through a difficult life, they might have had something in their past that makes their lives difficult and they have to overcome it or they might have done so already. Some of them might have encountered abuse, humiliation and even rape in their past.
I think the problem comes when the rape or abuse is in the present and the writer cannot address it the way it should be, in-depth, because the story is a “romance.” The story is not about the person’s journey of survival — and when I say survival, I mean it in psychological terms as well as physical. It makes it almost impossible for us as readers to enjoy that “romance” when rape is blatantly used as a device. It almost feels as if it is trivialized and putting aside the horror of it is not something any woman (morther, or man) can truly do.
That’s not to say that a writer can’t do it, that they can’t write a romance in the midst of a seriously bad situation. I’ll give you an example of a book that was more than well done and researched, Blue Eyed Devil by Lisa Kleypas. This book was about a woman who was seriously abused by her husband and we go through the abuse and humiliation with her in the story. Kleypas did an amazing job of researching this book and focusing the seriousness of the subject. Did her heroine find love at the end? She did. But believe me, it was done in a way that by no means negated or diminished what happened to this woman. So, it can be done.
Are there books I won’t read? I’ve always prided myself in having an open mind. However, recently I’ve found that reading Erotica sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I encounter a story where the female is treated like a “blow-up doll.” Where the writers (female writers), make these characters defenseless sexual objects. The feminist in me more than cringes at these books that seem to be lauded to all and sundry.
I do keep hearing Blue-EyedDevil mentioned as a good romance that deals with abuse, Hils. I will have to give it a try one day, but I just don’t know when. It will take a lot to get past my innate aversion to reading such tragic situations. But I agree at the same time – contrary much? – that it can be done well.
I have a tough time reading books with children being abused and killed. The Lovely Bones brought on the hysterics.
Also when I read Obsidian Butterfly by LKH, there is a scene where 2 children under the age of 13 were tortured. The little girl’s fingers were broken and the boy, who was 13, was sexually tortured. That angered me and I couldn’t understand why LKH would write such a scene. She could have glossed it over and it would have still been shocking. I could have done without the descriptions.
I agree the descriptions are what kill it. Some writers forget that sometimes it’s more effective to hover over it than go into depth, like left to the readers imagination.
They don’t have to tell every minute detail to get the point across.
Holy crap, Babs. I don’t even remember that part of Obsidian Butterfly. I’ll just be grateful I don’t read her stuff anymore.
I totally agree with not wanting to read anything about the torture of children. So when the series True Blood came on and they made such a big deal out of Godfrey – I was really sickened. He was a pedophile and that is the one of the only parts of that series that I had a problem with. I think if they knew what that character was like he would not have been so popular at all.
Ahhhh, yes! I’d forgotten about Godfrey’s sick nature! Geeze, I’m forgetting a lot of this kind of stuff. I do see the show as distancing itself from the books sometimes, though. I wonder if it’s that Godfrey was intended to be different from the one in the books. Or was his pedophile nature mentioned on the show a little and I’m forgetting that, too? It’s possible lol.
I usually don’t read books where children are abused in any form(I did read Acheron, and the first half of the book about killed me). I don’t really enjoy reading about women or men being abused either, but will only continue reading the story if I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Same here! There’s got to be some redemption for what they went through.
I think I know the book to which you are referring, because I’ve seen discussions about it recently. If, in fact it is the book I am thinking of, it is a YA novel…which might upset folks even further since it is a book geared towards teens.
However, this book is a huge draw for teens at the library, along with other books that detail abuse and torment, I’m specifically thinking of A Child Called It, a book (non-fiction) detailing one boys years of physical and mental abuse at the hands of his mother. It is a book that is ALWAYS check out of the library. Why, who knows? But this type of story is a huge draw for many teens.
I read the book in question (again if it’s the one I think it is) and I thought it was really good. I picked it up not really know what it was about but I’d read everything else by the author.
The book spawned a lot of discussion on a YA listserv that I’m on particularly concerning the ending. The teens that read the book interpreted the ending in a more positive light, while most adults had a completely different take on the end.
As far as books I “say no to” I cannot, for the life of me, understand why ANYONE reads Nicholas Sparks books. Someone always dies! (Gross generalization much?) but if there’s a Nicholas Sparks book where someone DOESN’T die, please let me know…I might actually read it.
Ok so I said I thought it was “good” without explaining why. Thought I should maybe do that so folks don’t think I’m a sick-o!
So if it’s the book I think it is this is….
I thought the book had less to do about the actual violence and more about forgiveness and redemption. Also, I felt it dealt a lot about people turning “blind eye” to situations. While there are truly bad people out there who kidnap and rap a girl for five years — there are also ALL those people around who knew something was wrong and DIDN’T do anything.
It also addressed the idea that abuse is often circular. The girls captor was abused and mistreated and, in turn, he also be came an abuser.
So while a book on this topic might seem completely gratuitous and uncalled for, never the less, it dealt with deeper issues. I did think it had some powerful messages.
I am not a parent, and if I were, this is not the type of book that I would want to pick up. I don’t think I could read it either. Several people on the YA librarian listerv (if forgot to mention the listerv was a professional librarian listeserv) I was on, many of them parents, also could not stomach it. However, those that did either loved it or hated it and there was some REALLY good discussion generated from it.
This book, however, was not written, or aimed at parents. It is a YA book. And, whether we understand the attraction or not….the teens love it.
Again, this is all assuming it’s the book I think it is :)
The book I was loosely referencing is a different one, but I think it’s also non-fiction, so it’s intentions are probably similar.
*I thought the book had less to do about the actual violence and more about forgiveness and redemption.*
I think that most if not all books written about this subject probably are, but I still can’t manage to get past my inner settings of No, Can’t Read it! My stomach churns every time.
I admit it, it IS somewhat shocking to me that books like these would be geared towards kids, but then again, I think it’s good that kids be aware of these kinds of dangers, that they can grow to understand what a victim of such abuse goes through. Kids are pretty resilient and often seem to be able to handle more than we think they can.
I am 100% with you on this. I can’t go near child abuse in the present tense in a book. Ever since having my two kids it’s been taboo. I respond to emotionally and so immediately. Ugh.
There has been one exception and that was Laura Wiess’ SUCH A PRETTY GIRL. But the main character is 15 and no longer a child-child. Though her flashbacks are chilling enough. But she is such an awesome girl and the novel was so well-done that I enjoyed it enough to go out and buy it.
See, I can’t even stand the thought of it a teenage child. Taboo is exactly how it feels.
Oh I agree with you. I hate the misery lit genre. It’s completely depressing. Read 3 books from it. Found out one was fake and a bunch of lies made up just to sell to mainstream (It’s about the Magdalene Laundries) and I almost cried.
There are books I can never enjoy like those that in the too realm of reality or rushed romance novels like the ones Lesley Pearse writes. Read one book “Gypsy” by her. Though I liked it, it was so soap like. Put me off romance novels involved in past history.
Ha – good way to term it. Misery lit.
Go to Borders in the u.k. (R.I.P.) or Waterstones it’s categorised as Misery Lit :P. It was given to the genre by a Guardian reviewer.
That is awesome!
I have several strong dislikes in reading that I stay away from. One is big and the others are small little tropes but all of them just rub me in such the wrong way that I can’t stand encountering them; they make me put down a book and while I can appreciate other people have different sensitivities, they’re things I just don’t want to deal with in my reading. I don’t get the ‘all ____ should read this,’ as though no one is already aware of the (sometimes well-known) message the book is heralding? I’d rather read a book for enjoyment and while I may be squeamish at certain things in story-telling, I’m okay with moving on to another book when one doesn’t do it for me.
Yes, so agree on reading for enjoyment. That’s what it’s all about for me and books that make me squirm are just not going to be enjoyable.
I completely understand that there are types of books that some people wont read. Me? I will read anything. I don’t mind if the storyline is a difficult one to read, I have read about rape, abuse, murder and although it makes for uncomfortable reading, if it’s done well it can be a powerful piece of writing. Oops I know you dislike that term, but it’s true all the same.
As a reader I’m quite tolerant of subject matter so maybe that makes me more accepting of certain themes which others may find difficult to read.
I find violence, abuse, murder in the real word disgusting and abhorrent, but when I read about it, it’s different. Don’t we go to the movies and watch violence and horror for entertainment? I know I do and horror is my favourite genre. It’s the same with my books.
I don’t read books with the type of themes you mention on a regular basis, otherwise I would be a depressed wreck ;) but I won’t shy away from them either.
Great topic and “Books I Say No To” is certainly a good idea for a regular feature :)
*Oops I know you dislike that term, but it’s true all the same.*
Well, that’s where the opinions here differ. And I don’t actually go to the movies to watch such acts of violence either, and if I happen to see them I’m certainly never going to watch said particular movie again. I do speak about rape specifically this time – it is its own category of violence. And it’s not that I shy away from them at all – I simply refuse to entertain that sort of “powerful” message as part of my particular life entertainment package.
And actually, my whole point was that I know these things go on – and that I don’t need the reminders in fiction that I hope will be a form of entertainment for me. So it’s not shying at all. I definitely know these things happen, and it’s just not for me, entertainment-wise. I suppose if that makes me an intolerant reader, so be it. I’d rather someone feel that way then read about people being raped or read their reflections on it. Just the way it is.